Thursday, February 23, 2017

Fantasy Football: The Anti-Amway!

Disclaimer: The thoughts in this blog are my own opinions. Names (if any) have been changed in order to protect everyone's privacy. The thoughts in this blog do not address Amway directly, but rather the motivational organization known as URAssociation (URA).


Been a while. But sometimes you just gotta take some time off and wait until the right inspiration hits you. And boy, did it EVER! 

When I wanted to start my "Cultism on YouTube" series, one of the videos I wanted to show was a young couple that was in Emerald Qualification being interviewed from the same guy who interviewed our good friend Tracey Eaton (See: Fight, Kick, Scratch and Crawl post) for his YouTube channel. Sadly, the video isn't on his channel anymore. Guess they wanted to "keep it pure" (See" Purity Through Anonymity") as well. Hey ho! 

Luckily your dude remembered most of their interview. Now this couple, we'll call em Jax and Tara (LOVE Sons of Anarchy!) do their interview and go through the same 'we need to get focused' blah blah blah.  Then he eerily says "don't worry about what's going on in the world." And "eliminate all distractions." And you WONDER why I call this blog the Financial Jonestown. How much more cultish can you sound???

I actually saw their interview before I joined and while they DID give me a bad vibe, they also proposed an interesting feature. They were both young and on their way up the ladder QUICKLY! Much like our upline Emerald they had propelled to URA stardom in a very short time so obviously if THEY could do it? Why not you? I got my first dose of Jax and Tara when they kicked off the Friday Night session of Summer CONference. I was interested to hear their story and then they dropped a bombshell when they mentioned who their sponsors were: 

Mr. and Mrs. Prince. 

WOMP! WOMP! WOMMMMMMP! 

That was another one of the many red flags I endured that weekend. The vibe I got was that they were INSIDERS getting the best advice from the big wigs while the rest of us lived off the table scraps. Now, in their interview, Jax was asked the BLATANTLY RHETORICAL question: "Do you play fantasy football?" Of course, the 'focused' and 'non-distracted' Jax quickly replied "nope. No fantasy football, no XBox, no nothing. I love them, but they don't put me ahead financially." And HERE is where we arrive at my point for this blog.

I played in two fantasy football leagues this year. One was for a cash prize of $200, the other was for a trophy that you get to keep all year, plus $40 that was left over from the trophy purchase. I won BOTH leagues. Yes, awesome I know you don't have to tell me. NOW it's time for a famous number crunch:

In Amway, I paid $150 for my startup kit. $100 for a Summer CONference ticket, $50 for gas, plus another $50 for expenses. I spent around $300 for personal volume/samples/etc. The money I MADE in Amway? Probably in the neighborhood of $250. So $250 profit with an expense total of around $650, I netted a whopping total of -$450. This of course is just coming off the dome, but you get the picture.

Now, this year in Fantasy Football, my league fee total for both leagues was $40. I made $240 PLUS a trophy. That nets me $200 and a 365 day reminder sitting in my room of how much of a Fantasy Football badass I am. Much nicer looking than those cracker jack rings the diamonds wear. I even get to DECORATE it how I please.

So you have a net profit of -$450 from reading books, listening to tapes, wasting a weekend with little sleep packed in a hotel room with six men, weekly business briefings, conference calls, showing plans, team get togethers, etc. etc. etc. OR you get a POSITIVE $200 net from setting your lineup with the occasional research. At the most EXTREME 2 hours a week. Seems like a no brainer.

And there's always the argument: Well you got a point, but WHAT IF YOU DON'T WIN??? Ok, that's a fair point. In which case I would've had a net profit of -$40. Less than 10% of what I lost in Amway! Also, if you play in a Fantasy money league, you have probably 8-12 teams so you have a 1 in 8-12 of winning the grand prize and an even better odds to win money if they give prizes to 2nd/3rd place. Forget the odds of making Platinum/Emerald/Diamond....try to find the odds where at the end of the year, you've netted a PROFIT. Just go look up THOSE odds and tell me how you would fare!

So now I totally understand why Jax, Tara, Mr. Prince, and the rest of the Executive Douchebag Committee look down on Fantasy Football: IT'S BETTER COMPETITION. Is it gambling? Yeah, but at least it's honest. At least you know how much you can gain/lose. With the URA and their counterparts, it's thievery. Thievery of your trust, your confidence, your money, YOUR SOUL.

In closing, Jax and Tara referred to a saying they have in their home state of Texas: "Let er' rip tater chip." It really should've been "rip em' off jagoff."

Word of advice: If you're low in the draft, draft two receivers.

6 comments:

  1. LOL, funny story. I played in two fantasy leagues this season also. I won one and missed the playoffs in the other. But even if I made nothing, I was still better off than playing Amway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHAH...I would love to know what you do full time

    ReplyDelete
  3. "INSIDERS getting the best advice from the big wigs while the rest of us lived off the table scraps." You realize there would be no point keeping information that could help other because by default they would make more money. Its incentivized to help people make the most money possible... dumbass

    ReplyDelete
  4. why don't you drop 5 Million you have in the bank (lol) open up a couple of McDonalds, and then you can finally profit what Jax and Tara make part time. fucking loser

    ReplyDelete
  5. AWWWWWW you got your FWEEWINGS HURT about fantasy football. Why do you play the game "when the fuck is my retirement date?" Sorry child I can't afford pay for college, you have to take out loans because people tried to convince me that buying groceries from a website and getting a rebate and referral is a scam. Apple, Nike, and Google couldn't figure out it was a pyramid but I cracked the case!!!

    *sips perfect water

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next time consolidate your posts into one. It'll look better than someone who can't let it all out at once. Hahaha.

      Why are you trolling my blog anyway? Don't you have plans to show? Oh, and make sure you got your next CONference ticket locked in! Your upline is counting on you to boost their income. Enjoy your sleep-deprived cult weekend of getting the same stuff you heard last conference.

      At least I won't have to explain to my kids that I can't pay for their college because we had to buy XS, Perfect Water, CD's and spend thousands a year going to CONferences, but don't worry, we'll be rich because our upline diamond SAID SO.

      BTW, the fact that you compared Amway to Nike, Apple and Google is PRICELESS! ROFLMAO!

      Delete